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 I hate when people try to help you with something by getting in the way of your doing it. 
I am actually almost done with this boring day of work. Hardly anyone else had to come in today.

I read this interesting entry about female hysteria on wikipedia, which was accompanied by this hilarious old-timey advertisement:

  and this great illustration of water treatment:

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OMBARDO @GCI TONIGHT!!!!

GOTHAM CITY IMPROV

10:00 pm

$5.00

Bombardo presents: Summertime Blues special, with SPECIAL GUESTS Death League Tea Party & Haberdasher.

BOMBARDO is Emily Askin, Chelsea Clarke, Emily Felt, Marcy Jarreau, Beth Newell, Aubrey Plaza and Erica Warnock.

HABERDASHER is Will Carry, Brian Craine, Erik Dies, Susan Famulare, James Geppner, Aaron Glaser, Chris Harwood, Chrissie Mayr, Kristen Rozanski, Jessie Spellman

DEATH LEAGUE TEA PARTY is Joe Spellman, Anna Rubanova, Cesa Kobe-Smith, Kristy Webb, Alden Ford, Steven Slate, Marcos Sanchez (www.myspace.com/deathleagueteaparty)

GOTHAM CITY IMPROV

48 West 21 St Street, 8th floor

(between 5th & 6th Ave.)

Enter #801 ..pad by door.

New York, NY 10011

212-367-8222

www.gothamcityimprov.com

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1940's house isn't half the show Frontier house is. I guess it just goes to show that casting is everything.
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On any given day, you could consume more mustard than any human being on the planet.
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Check out jott.com
Once you register you can set it up so when you call a certain number from your cell phone you can leave yourself notes. The site converts your voice to an email that is delivered to you. Its been impressively accurate so far in hearing the words correctly.
You can also import contacts so it will send your notes to other people in email and/or text form. Preeetty cooool.
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I called to confirm one of the appointments I had to look at an apartment tomorrow. The guy said that it turns out the people in the apartment still live there. What?
Gah!
finding an apartment is so frustrating in so many aspects.
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I just ordered my cap and gown.
The size selection was "200 pounds or less."
I'm like a size 0. So tiny!

Lookout World! Here comes a not quite obese adult with a degree in skills that will never garner any sort of steady employment.

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Rather than get any of my senior projects done, I've been working on designing a flyer for bombardo and this:

bombardoimprov.com

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also - one of the best book covers ever:

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Sure its late notice, but you know you're super bored:

BOMBARDO
Fridays @ 10 pm
(through march)
$5
*** GOTHAM CITY IMPROV ***
48 West 21 St Street, 8th floor
(between 5th & 6th Ave.)
Buzzer 13
New York, NY 10011
212-367-8222
www.gothamcityimprov.com

Tonight is Duo night -

Gater is: Garret Palm & Peter McNerney
Nick & Aubrey is: Nick Zimmerman & Aubrey Plaza
Jess & James is: Jessica Allen and James Eason

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Hello all. Things are pretty great with me except that I'm hitting the end of semester sleepless cram. Really I just wanted to let you all know about this:

CAGEMATCH
Project Improviser vs. Mailer Daemon
Thursday November 30. 11 pm
UCB Theater
8th ave. & 26th st.
$5 or free w/ UCB student id

http://ucbtheatre.com/schedule/showdetails.php?showid=25

Please come vote for Project Improviser so we can continue to perform together.

Thanks.

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You may or may not know that I've been selected as one of the nine contestants on Project Improviser.

Our first performance is this Wednesday, June 14 at 11 pm at the UCB Theatre (8th Ave. & 26th St.)

Our "challenge" for the week is to try to bring people to our show. Whoever brings the most people to the show wins "immunity" from being voted off for the week. If you come to see the show, please find the guy with the clipboard by the door and tell him you're there to see "Beth."

This show is FREE and the contestants are a really strong group of improvisers.

Please help me win immunity and stay on the show for another week.
You should also friend Project Improviser on Myspace.

The first episode should be up on the site on June 12th.

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They just opened this new coffee/sandwich shop/bakery place near my house. It's french. When you walk in people are speaking french and have french accents. I love it. The wasp half of me loves the gentrification of my neighborhood.
Anyway, this place just got way more awesome when I was in there today and a french woman spilled her change purse all over the floor. To this her french friend exclaimed "Ooh-la-la!"
I didn't know this phrase was spoken outside of french stereotypes. Amazing.

You know what else is amazing: Frogs, a horror movie made in the 70's.

"Ray Milland plays an aging, grumpy, physically disabled millionaire who invites his family to his island estate for his birthday celebration. Sam Elliot plays a free-lance photographer who is doing a pollution layout for an ecology magazine. Jason Crokett (Milland) hates nature, poisoning anything that crawls on his property. On the night of his birthday the frogs and other members of nature begin to pay Milland back."

Trivia: Many of the 500 Florida frogs and 100 giant South American toads purchased for use in the film escaped during production.

What's better than Frogs getting back at a man that literally hates the environment?
This movie is horribly amazing.

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Guy: Can you imagine if a bird shit on you from that high? It would kill you. Do you know how fast things fall?
Girl: no
Guy: Everything falls at a speed of 32 ft per second. Everything.
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Mick: Have you seen Janeane? She looks amazing!
Selena: Janeane over in the president's office?
Mick: Yes. She looks stunning. Her complexion, her hair. I swear, if I wasn't a devout homosexual I would ask her to marry me right now.
Selena: Get outta here, Mick!

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Selena: If Winona [the boss] leaves here early, we're outta here.
Bette: okay
Selena: Seriously. She takes off at 4:00, we're gone at 4:15.

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Madonna: So I went on a date with that guy I told you about. That guy from the bus.
Selena: How'd it go
Madonna: I told him I looked up his name because I didn't know what kind of name it was. It's African. It means Pirhanna. I told him "you a Pirhanna!"
Madonna: *changes topic and starts to talk about her mom's cancer*
Selena: Wait, so what does he do for a living?

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(names changed to protect the innocent)

A: remember when blarcy kissed us.
A: am i the only one who remembers that
ME: uh not really
ME: when was that?
A: when we were leaving
ME: at your party? i don't think she kissed me there
A: she grabbed our heads
A: YES
A: she grabbed my face
ME: you were leaving your party?
A: and then she grabbed yours
A: when YOU guys were leaving
A: i swear
ME: she kissed you on the lips?
ME: oh wait. she did kiss me
ME: now i remember
ME: i was like "ew. you just put your tongue in my mouth"
A: YES
ME: it happened so fast
ME: i almost forgot
A: she put her tounge in mine too
A: gross
ME: that's gross
A: hahhahaha

The funny thing is, I wasn't even remotely drunk when this happened. Long week.
Number of drunk people who kissed me this week: 2
Number of those who were male: 0

P.S. This is the first of what will hopefully be a series of public posts.

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watch this. NOW

http://whitehousewest.com/

i love will more than ever.

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from now on my entries are friends only.
I'm starting to wonder who reads this that I don't know about.
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